The wildly popular book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman definitely falls under the “oldie but goodie” category for me. Even if you haven’t read the book, you’ve likely heard someone say something like “pizza is my love language.” The idea of it is everywhere! Today I share a quick review on the book as well as my thoughts on the concept.
The 5 Love Languages is a book about improving relationships through speaking your partner’s “love language.” The basic concept is this: each of us has a specific way that we prefer to receive love, and if our spouse shows us love in this way, we will feel the most loved and our relationship will flourish.
The five love languages listed in the book are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
- Words of Affirmation: Honest compliments, written love notes, appreciative words
- Quality Time: time spent, even if on an activity, where the focus is the other person, such as tossing a football in the backyard
- Receiving Gifts: a token of one’s appreciation and love, big or small, expensive or absolutely free
- Acts of Service: Doing something for the other person, such as running an errand or completing a chore
- Physical Touch: This includes sex but is much more than that. Hand holding, kissing, and hugging are all forms of physical touch
Anyone would appreciate being shown love in any of these ways, but each of us has one or two that stand out as the way we really feel the most loved. The main premise of the book is that showing love in the way your partner prefers to be loved, instead of how you prefer to be loved, is the best way to strengthen a marriage relationship. Chapman does a great job of breaking down each “love language” and demonstrating how using this method can be extremely effective in rebuilding a crumbling marriage or even just strengthening a good marriage.
I absolutely loved this book! I actually read this one a couple years ago, for a college class book report, but I thought it was a must-read. The concepts are super simple, but extremely powerful.
It comes down to this: a marriage takes work. Figuring out what makes your spouse feel loved and then going out of your way to do that as an expression of your love for them is a surefire way to improve your marriage.
If you haven’t read it yet, you can get yourself a copy here.
Have you read the book? If so, what did you think? What’s your love language? Share in the comments below!
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